Sunday, May 25, 2014

Dabbling in Latin

I have just completed two semesters of introductory Latin courses. Therefore, I consider myself a complete expert and have titled this blog in Latin. In all seriousness, I hope I have not completely ruined what I was aiming at with the title, but if I have, I beg a Latin scholar to inform me of my grievous error. Sursum corda, prorsus oculos (if I have not entirely maimed it) should approximately mean "Upwards hearts, forward eyes." Why this as a title for a blog? The last week of class we translated the Eucharistic Prayer II, and as any Catholic who has attended the new English translation of the Mass will tell you the priest says, "Lift up your hearts." And the congregation replies, "We lift them up to the Lord." What the Latin literally reads is something to the effect of, "Upwards hearts." It is an adverb followed by a plural accusative, but that probably isn't necessary information.

Back to why I chose the title. Two weeks from today, on June 8th and also on Pentecost Sunday, I will begin a six month dating fast. I am beginning this because my heart has been all over the place this past year. I recently discerned the vocation of marriage and since then my heart has wondered much more about who my Prince Charming is rather than what Christ wants for my life right now. The eyes of my heart have been looking too far forward instead of keeping focus on the present. I want to lift my heart up to the Trinity in an intimate way these next six months - while focusing my eyes on what's right in front of me. Hence, sursum corda, prorsus oculos is to be my mantra during this fast from the world of human romance and feast of Divine romance. I know I can't be the only one who faces the dilemma of a wandering heart and straying eyes. St. Augustine, at least, knew what I'm talking about when he said, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in You, O Lord." My heart has been extraordinarily restless. It is well past time to rest in the One who created it.

I want this blog to be something of a "travel journal," if you will allow me to use that term. This will be where I record the journey of my heart over the course of the summer and upcoming fall semester. I don't expect anyone to read this. I have no false notions of gaining a following. I am doing this for me. I am putting my words out there because my soul needs a place to express its joys, sorrows, trials, tribulations, and longings where I feel like someone may see it. I know that makes no sense but that's the mind of a young woman for you. However, if you are reading this I hope that my quirky way of seeing the world affords you a smile, maybe some peace, and perhaps even relief that someone else shares in the quandaries of your heart.

Magdalena is not my real name, but I do love St. Mary Magdalene very much and admire her greatly. I chose her because of the meeting she has with the risen Christ in the garden outside his empty tomb.

"But Mary stayed outside the tomb weeping. And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb and saw two angels in white sitting there, one at the head and one at the feet where the body of Jesus had been. And they said to her, 'Woman, why are you weeping? She said to them, 'They have taken my Lord, and I don't know where they laid him.' When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there, but did not know it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, 'Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?' She thought it was the gardener and said to him, 'Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him.' Jesus said to her, 'Mary!' She turned and said to him in Hebrew, 'Rabbouni,' which means Teacher. Jesus said to her, 'Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and tell them, 'I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.' Mary of Magdala went and announced to the disciples, 'I have seen the Lord,' and what he told her." John 20:11-18 (NAB, Revised Edition)



I totally identify with Mary here. She is in distress. She is distracted. Her heart is in mourning. She cannot see what is right in front of her - the very One whom she is mourning! It is not until Jesus calls her name that Mary realizes who stands before her. She thought it was a gardener. And indeed, Jesus Christ is a gardener, but not any gardener, THE Gardener. It is He who pulls the weeds out of the gardens of our hearts. It is He who is the sun, water, air, and soil of our hearts. It is He who plants the seeds and encourages them to grow. It is He who tries to return us to the state of Eden.

So for now, sursum corda, prorsus oculos. Keep your heart up as an offering to the Lord, but keep your eyes on the present He wants you to live to the fullest.

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